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Of course! Not all relationships are created equal, and sometimes relationships were ended for very, very good reasons. If your partner was incompatible, manipulative or abusive, it's not a good idea to get back involved with them — even if it's platonic, and even if it's at their urging. Request new password. You are here. How to be better friends with your ex because you know you Stay as friends to. Updated: 7 Jun PM Posted by. Breakups suck. Anyone who's ever ended a serious relationship — be that ending long-awaited, mutual, drama-filled or out of the blue — knows that saying goodbye to a big part of your life can be difficult.
And the emotional roller coaster of breakups can often mean that you're not always on best of terms with your now-ex, after the dust has settled. Whether there's just too much history, or there's Stay as friends strange awkwardness between you, maintaining a platonic friendship after dating someone is one of life's biggest mysteries — which is why we don't often do it.
But even though some exes definitely aren't worth the effort, there are lots of fish thrown back into the sea that would be great mates, or were great mates before you dated. So why shouldn't you reach out? As long as both parties aren't toxic and are both agreeable, it can be a good thing to foster a friendship with someone that you spent a lot of time with. We caught up with relationship expert and dating coach, Samantha Jayneto find out the best ways to turn a past love into a present pal.
There are a of reasons to maintain a relationship with an ex. Whether it's because you simply don't want them to be completely out of your life, or because they're an all-around excellent person, exes aren't all bad. There is no right or wrong.
Do what genuinely feels right. Make sure to think about your relationship and your ex's personality and disposition before reaching out.
Maybe they haven't let go of you and you are trying to be civil. Stay as friends is not good in the long run as there is an unresolved attraction and Stay as friends says Samantha. New relationships on either side can be factors, too. This is understandable and should be respected. Friendships are also best to be avoided if your ex still expresses displays of control over you. It's unhealthy to remain friends in these situations because they might try to sabotage your new relationship.
So it is best to adopt a zero contact policy. Have some time apart. Mourn the relationship. Real time apart and completely disengage. No phone, text, social media. This will give you time to heal. You should do this for 3 months minimum — some may need more time. Use this time to focus on your hobbies, work, and living happily. If you're still unsure if you're ready to reach out as friends, ask yourself "How would I feel if I saw your ex with someone new? Clarify your motives. Identify why you would like to maintain the friendship.
Is it healthy for you? Closure, emotional support? Do you still feel attraction? Do they still feel attraction are you genuinely wanting to be friends or is it a power thing? Get in touch with your ex. Be open, tell them how you feel and how you want to remain friends. Be prepared for anything. They could welcome your contact or reject it.
If they agree, the best way to go about connecting is to take the pressure off and spend time together as a part of a group. Don't fall back into old patterns. Keep up boundaries. Limit communication — try not to text them daily like you did when you were in a relationship.
Don't put yourself in a position with alcohol, an evening date or go to places where you used to go when you were in love. Lay down the rules and be strong about them. Don't talk about your relationship. Look forward and be a true friend. No flirting or sex talk. Don't talk about the things that bother you like you would to a partner.
This is a whole new dynamic. Most importantly, don't doubt the breakup and stick to your guns. Be genuine about your friendship. Be prepared they may meet someone else.
If during your friendship you notice that it ignites your feeling of love and attraction or vice versa, take a step back and time out until those feelings settle, then you can reassess. Be optimistic about your relationship and don't try to compare it to the past. You might also like How to break out of a sex rut 36 Comments. The most Googled relationship questions, answered by an expert 49 Comments. Your ature sex move, according to your star 42 Comments. Member Comments.
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Should You Stay Friends With an Ex? Here's What Experts Say