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Respect, a sense of humor, and two televisions—long-term couples share the secrets to their successful marriages. During a lecture at Stanford University inRuth Bader Ginsburg shared a piece of advice she got from her mother-in-law on her wedding day:. The late Supreme Court Justice noted that she relied on this advice throughout her extremely happy year marriage with her husband, Martin Ginsburg.
The legendary lawyer knew something about persuasion, and this gem of advice can be used to inject a little zen into your own personal relationship or professional ones—Ginsburg said it also came in handy during her decades-long legal career, including during her tenure on the Supreme Court.
While maintaining a long-term relationship can be challenging—especially during acute personal hardships or, say, a global pandemic when general stress levels are high and time spent together abundant—there are some secrets to success that can help keep things healthy and on-track.
Do not expect your partner to always make you happy. As we mature and evolve, so do our needs and wants. Be willing to grow and adapt with your partner. Every couple argues, but when you do, make sure you stay focused on the issue at hand. Lastly, always make time for each other with date nights. Luckily, we got it right the first time!
Although you are a couple, you are two individuals with different perspectives. Yes, we wish our partner would take the initiative and take action without having to be asked, but that too could lead to misinterpretation. Be open and expressive but not judgmental or critical.
People will grow and change over the years but the love that brought you together must be the bond that keeps you together through it all. Also, being able to pursue interests that you can do together and other things you do individually. Each has to be a giver and a taker. Trust is so very important. Share responsibilities! Never go to bed angry at one another! Always be kind.
Your words and your actions reflect your love. All combinations will occur over a lifetime marriage.
When we think about what has been the key to maintaining a loving relationship, one habit that we developed stands out. Each morning, we get up to a preprogrammed pot of good coffee, read our Bibles, and pray together. There is truly no better way to know and understand the heart of your spouse than to listen to their prayers. These prayers give each of us an opportunity to hear our spouse talk to God about the joys and struggles in their life.
We prayed for our children before they were born and continue to pray for them, their spouses, and our grandchildren now. And because we have prayed like this for decades we are now able to recall all the answers to prayer that we have received. And that is our key to our enduring relationship and marriage. You Old married couples advice to be okay with giving your all and receiving little in return.
You have to be committed to helping the other person get through the tough times, even if it hurts. The percentage changes daily, and sometimes lasts for years. But in the end, you have this long, long memory full of gratitude for the other person for being there for you during the tough times, sharing the good with the bad, but always being there.
And that's what it takes to keep the boat afloat. Most of it didn't matter, but what remains is the being there for each other. The deep, deep assurance that you were each other's best chance of getting the best out of life, of getting through life, together.
We still say that it worked for us! At the same time, give each other space, and support their interests or activities. Do things with your partner that you may not want to do—compromise. Be thoughtful and considerate. It is important to refrain from bitterness, and to appreciate the gift of two—without the other, neither's dreams come true.
We were children when we met—19 and 21—so luck must be factored into the equation. Cooperate in taking care of family affairs. No matter what, give as much love to the relationship as you can. FB Tweet More. You'll get the latest updates on this topic in your browser notifications.
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