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The sexual preferences of the fairer sex stretch far and wide, from the socially acceptable vanilla activities portrayed in Hollywood love stories to the dark and hidden desires only comfortably discussed in anonymous internet chat rooms. This endless variety means that anyone who claims to know exactly what every woman wants in bed is probably trying to sell you something, so I would never try.
Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less, please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues.
And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
I like that you want to take things slow. When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. That makes me feel like a rapist. Get on top of me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. You being coy is totally not what I want. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. So, I have compiled some handy tips.
Just some simple tips, for timid men who have forgotten what it means to fuck like men:. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt.
Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of. Start by using all four fingers with firm yet gentle pressure against the outside of her pussy. Do not charge in with a single finger and start jabbing at things.
Just ask. Is it sensitive? Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner liked. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some women like their hair pulled. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that she sits on.
Get to the gym and lift skinny boy. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. Do that. Whisper our name assuming you know it gruffly. God, you look so fucking hot. Is she still moaning in response? Try the following:. Tread carefully, but please, tread. If you do eat a woman out, the only comment you should make about her pussy is how nice it is.
The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush — you are not John Madden. No time for color commentary. Oh, we hate them. Trust us. They hurt us more than they hurt you. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. I do mean to say that most women I know have told me that they like sex rougher than most men give it to them. Rough does NOT equal chains and bondage. And this applies to the bedroom only, and does not mean that she wants you to choose her dinner for her, or treat her like less of a person.
HOWEVER, all women need to remember that, in addition to be straight forward about your sexual desires, you need to be straight forward about your sexual limits. Silence is dangerous.How to fuck a girl great
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How to Fuck a Girl: The 7 Fundamentals of Mind-Blowing Sex