Added: Jedediah Newberry - Date: 09.10.2021 09:15 - Views: 17482 - Clicks: 6959
Post a Comment Feel free to comment related to this post or ask additional questions. All comments require moderation. I do not post sales or non-related links. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while.
It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked. When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman.
I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman? On the street, I'm also a free target I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.
Express yourself calmlyand release any need for the other person to hear you or change. What matters is that you expressed your true thoughts and feelings in a calm and clear way. This goal is achievable and within your control. Focus on the outcome you can control and achieve. If your goal involves empathy or a heart change on the part of the other, stop right there and change your goal. As soon as you focus on the relationship and try to improve it or change it at an emotional level, an interaction with an emotionally immature person will deteriorate.
The person will regress emotionally and attempt to control you so that you'll stop upsetting him or her. If you keep the focus on a specific question or outcome, you're more likely to contact the person's adult side. Managing, not engaging means setting a goal of managing the interaction, including duration and topics.
Redirect the conversation where you want it to go. Gently ease past attempts to change the topic or bait you emotionally.
Be polite and persistent. Manage your own emotions by observing and narrating your feelings to yourself and Godrather than becoming reactive. This is not a cold, uncompassionate technique. Remember, Proverbs teachers "Answer a fool according to his folly. To be an emotionally mature adult, you must be free to observe and assess others in the privacy of your own mind.
It is not disloyal to have your own opinion. When someone else's emotions are so strong you begin to feel overwhelmed, remember to:. Doing these techniques moves you from your brain's emotional centers to its more objective, logical areas. Because relationships are not about winning or losing, you will become free from reacting to the emotional contagion of the other person who often triggers you!
This ability to step back and observe the other and yourself is where emotional freedom and maturity begins. Because we can never make "a healing fantasy" come true, we can begin to walk a different path than the same old hurt-filled one we've been walking for decades!
Keeping a grip on our own mind and feelings is possible. In summary, you need to stay observational, noticing how you're feeling and how the other person is acting. From this perspective, you can retain your own individual point of view and be more immune to the other person's emotional contagion. This relating to the immature person in a neutral way will be more productive than trying to have an actual relationship.
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What Is Emotional Immaturity