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Decker recounts her struggles as a member of the asexual community, a misunderstood and often denounced group. Similarly, sexual people can become asexual.
At age fourteen, I had my first boyfriend. At age sixteen, I left my second boyfriend perplexed and frustrated.
Not my boyfriend, not the hottest people in school, not the heartthrob movie stars. Never enjoyable, never exciting, never intriguing enough to make me want more. I broke up with the boy because he considered sex an essential element in a relationship, and I vowed to trust myself from then on as the authority on what I was feeling and what experiences I wanted.
I know from experience, but I was used to defining and defending my feelings and choices through a privileged lens of high self-esteem. Without that core confidence, the criticism I dealt with would have been nearly unbearable…. And now, I want to help other asexual people to embrace their orientation without an instilled core of self-doubt. Are you sexually attracted to other people? Do you feel the need to make sex a part of your life?
Do you have a desire to introduce sexual activities into your relationships? If you answered no to one or more of these questions, you may very well be asexual. at letters time.
Cover of The Invisible Orientation. By Julie Sondra Decker. Get our Health Newsletter. up to receive the latest health and science news, plus answers to wellness questions and expert tips. Please enter a valid address. Please attempt to up again. Up Now. An unexpected error has occurred with your up. Please try again later.
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